I love being a woman. I love being a wife. I love being a mom. I love being a follower of God.
But...
It is difficult being a woman. It is even more difficult being a wife. It is downright hard being a mom. And in some moments, I think, being a follower of God is impossible.
On Being A Woman:
(Just so you know, I may not define 'being a woman' the same as pop culture's 2012 definition. I'll let you figure out what my definition is.)
My life as a woman has been very much blessed so far. I am grateful for the perspective being a woman has given me. I am grateful for the 'womanly intuition' that I think most (if not all) woman are blessed with. I really enjoy that I don't have to be the primary bread winner in my family. I love that I am called to support my husband and raise my kids. On another note, I am also glad that I'm not the tallest person in the family, expected to wear my hair super short, or let my armpit hair grow. All things to be thankful for.
The same things that make being a woman great are sometimes the things that make it difficult. It would be nice to have a mans perspective, which would be, in my case, a lot less emotional. Sometimes it sounds nice to work outside the home more and support our family financially (sometimes). It would be nice to be the tallest in the family sometimes. It might be nice to wear my hair super short (less time getting ready in the morning anyway). And it really might be great to let my armpit hair grow. Pesky razors.
On Being A Wife:
I have the best man in the world as a husband. Sorry to all of you other women, but it is true. I won't go into an exhaustive list of his amazingness, so you'll have to take my word for it. (I just learned that amazingness is not a word. Oh well.)
Although I have the best man in the world as a husband, he is still a man. And I don't mean this in a condescending feminist way. I mean it in the sense that all men (and women) are flawed sinful creatures. So, my marriage is not perfect. It is not easy. It is a journey filled with joy and pain. But it is one that I am so happy I embarked on.
On Being A Mom:
Well, isn't this a hot topic at the moment. With two kids (ages 3 and 2 months), I am in the thick of it. I love my kids with a love I didn't know was possible. They are bright lights in my life and always will be. I am constantly surprised by what intelligent tiny humans they are. They are beautiful, sweet, and my happy thoughts.
My kids have also challenged and stretched me in ways I didn't know were possible. How can people so small pack such a strong psychological punch. Whether it is trying not to cry and shout after my 3 year old uses a permanent marker on my 100 year old hope chest or stumbling around and crying at 3:30 in the morning after my 2 month old hasn't slept all night, kids push me farther than I thought I could go. But after the permanent marker comes off with some nail polish remover and the baby falls asleep nursing at 4:00 am, I am consistently happy to be given the chance to grow and learn. Well, happy may not be the best word for it. But you get the idea.
On Being A Follower of God:
God. The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The God of the Bible. The Alpha and Omega. Jesus. What a beautiful, amazing, dynamic world He has given us. That He saw fit to have me recognize His authority on earth and heaven, is the biggest gift of all. That He saw fit to (hopefully) give me mercy and grace, is worth more than my life. I love looking at my family and the world with clear eyes. It is more than I will ever deserve.
When the world and the people in it start to close in, there are more than a few times when I doubt it all. How can I believe in something I can't see, hear, smell, or touch? Not only believe but attempt to center my whole life around? I find myself constantly relearning and exploring why I believe what I do. Each time I come back to the same place. But it is a process, and one that I don't think I will reach the end of until I stand before my creator.
Whoa, that was a lot of heavy and not entirely how I intended to start this whole bloggy thing. But I'm going to leave that as my introduction. I don't really want to do an 'About Me' section because I'm not entirely sure 'About Me' myself. I have a roof and a floor but the walls and contents of my house are constantly changing.
What I would like for this blog, is to have a place to share. (I'm not a writer or a photographer so sharing may be pretty boring. Fair warning) I cook a lot and usually never the same thing twice (which makes me a horrible cook) but I'd like to be able to share some of my recipes. I'd like to share my love of gardening and the outdoors. I'd like to share my crazy way-too-much-work-for-a-momma-of-two projects that I sometimes do. And if no one reads this, then I have successfully created a place to document my many failures and rare successes. So stay tuned, or don't.
Now, if you've read this far you must be my mom. I love you, Mom.
My playlist (Songs I listened to while writing this):
Free Fallin' - John Mayer
You'll Be In My Heart - Phil Collins
What if You - Joshua Radin
Turning Page - Sleeping At Last
A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
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